Bed time

Hey you know those people who write blogs and how they’re always super pretentious?  They tell you what’s wrong with the world and sort of imply that it’s everybody’s fault, but their own.  They know what is wrong and who is to blame, and they may get a little bit of increased readership if they blame you and your write hate mail back.  The blog makes a lot of sense and basically falls under the umbrella of ‘common sense.’  The writer might get away with it too because ‘common sense’ isn’t common, but they have this irritating way of making it seem like you are the problem.  You and everyone else, but them. 

So I’m a teacher, as you may have already known and I’ve taught at a lot of schools because I used to be a sub and substitutes get a bird’s eye view.  They see it all, but just little glimpses and they can’t get to know the kids too well.  And I got that; I taught a whole bunch of kids for a day or a couple of days or a couple of weeks.  Then this year I taught one set of about a hundred kids every day.  I learned their names I got to know their quirks and talents.  So now I’ve got a bird’s eye and I’m right up in the stuff; I can use a sniper rifle and a knife.  And I’ve got one huge overarching diagnosis for why kids, schools, and test scores are going to the crapper.  Maybe I’ll get around to some of the other reasons and we as a society of individuals can start working on those.  Stay tuned.  For right now I’ve got one big one that is going to make things a lot better. 

Bedtime.

That’s right you, yes you, need to give your kids an earlier bedtime.  A kid who is in elementary is age 6-12ish, needs to go to bed and be in bed for 10 hours.  ‘What if they don’t need that much sleep?’ They do.  Stop letting them stay up for another episode.  Stop reading one more story to them.  If they wake up early, send them back to bed.  ‘What if they wake up early ten days in a row?’ take a walk with them every night before bed.  ‘A walk isn’t enough.’ How about a jog?  How about a run?  How about some basketball?  Stop letting them eat sugar after 6:00.  Stop letting them drink energy drinks after 4:00.  ‘But I want my kid to be independent.’

Your kid cannot be independent if they are sleepy.  Your child is making up their minds based on a burnt out system.  They cannot pay attention in class, even if they aren’t going to sleep because they might be able to stay up and NOT be able to act calm and cool without eyes drooping.  They cannot give attention to their teacher, their sleep imbalance is begging them to act up.   

A student who is in middle school is tricky because they’re older and more independent.  They’ve got more extracurricular activities and homework so they need…10 hours.  They need sleep.  Your teachers are spending time dealing with their attitudes and behavior when they could, believe it or not, teach them.  You cannot let them stay up on Instachat or Snapgrams (patent pending).  I know these apps are called Instagram and Snapchat, I think it’s funny to say them wrong and it also allows me to minimize their value to others in speech. You cannot let them have a TV in their room for them to watch Netflix until 1 a.m.  You cannot let them play video games until their borderline psychotic because Call of Duty 27 just came out or they’ve been saving their money for Grand Theft Auto Guatemala for like three weeks.  Even if it’s something valuable like reading a book, doing a project, or practicing their violin.  School is more important than that.  School needs a consistent ethic of mental and emotional wellness that can be greatly improved by solid sleep.  Let them have Saturday to do those other things, if you must.  Although.  If you like this meandering article/blog then you might stick around and find out how I feel about some of those other pastimes.  

‘Is it possible that a kid needs nine hours instead of 10? After all, my 8^th grader is 14 and has a mustache.’  Yes.  ‘Well what about 8?’  I guess that’s possible.  Take a second and guestimate how many kids at your local middle school get even 8?  Now divide that by 2.  That’s probably more like the right number.  My insanely accurate unscientific guess is that fewer than 40% get seven hours or more.  How many kids do you think need 8, 9, or 10 hours?  Most people would sensibly say that more kids need 10 than 9 and more kids need 9 than 8.  Once again, and I’m correct, 10% need about 8 hours. 20% need about 8.5 hours of sleep.  30% of children under the age of fifteen need 9 hours. 20% need 9.5 and 20% need 10 hours of sleep every night.  Where does your kid fit?  Why does your student need less than others?  You see the question isn’t how much they need when it comes to sleep.  It’s how much they can take.

And when your kid is in high school they need…8-10 hours of sleep.  Think of the way schools would be if every student went to sleep at ten and woke up at six.  Think of how are schools would be if every parent could enforce that on each high school student.

This blog/article wasn’t written by a parent with all the answers.  It was written by the spouse of a parent with all the answers.  When I married my wife I felt her bed time was early.  I still do.  I think my bedtime when I was her kid’s age was an hour later.  But he performs better in school.  He is nicer and more polite than I was.  He still gets to be a little snotty if he doesn’t get his normal amount of sleep.  His friends in school; honors, band, orchestra; a lot have early bedtimes.  The kids that I know at my school who have bed times, they are all high achievers.  Admittedly some students do not have bed times and achieve well.  My argument to that, is that they may achieve better if they were well rested.  I’m not a parent with all the answers.  I’m a teacher searching for all the right answers.  If you think this is or isn’t one of them would you leave a response and say why or why not? 

Sadly, the clientele that read blogs/online articles give their children bedtimes.  It is the parents who have the children who need bedtimes the most who are least likely to read this.  Please don’t take that statement as racial, ethnocentric, or socioeconomic.  I am saying that the group of people in society that is seeking out suggestions on how to better raise children are self-selective of the type of people who already give their children bed times.  So if you could do me a favor; ask someone who you know who has kids when their kids’ bedtimes is/are.  We need this question to be part of the vernacular.  The more we ask the more people think there is a right answer.  The friends you ask you can ask why.  The friends you ask, if they don’t know or don’t really have a set time, or want their children to be independent; send them the link to this article.