Welcome to the World

22 Have you cattle? Look after them; if they are making you a profit, keep them.

23 Have you children? Educate them, from childhood make them bow the neck.

24 Have you daughters? Take care of their bodies, but do not be over-indulgent.

25 Marry a daughter off, and you have finished a great work; but give her to a man of sense.

26 Have you a wife to your liking? Do not turn her out; but if you do not love her, never trust her.

How pertinent is it that I'm writing a blog about raising a daughter when my sister has just hours ago given birth to her first little girl?  I'm pretty stoked.  I love having niephews.  Yes that's a word, Spell Checker.  I love all the ones I've had so far.  I love Seren Eclaire, and Everrito, and Caediboo, and Williamino, and Murphy the Mess, and JDOC, and Luke-ee (Not sure how to spell this.  It seemed more creative when I said it than when I wrote it.  It sounds like, "Follow Duke-ee," from a single episode of a Gummie Bears Cartoon.).  Here, into the fray comes...I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell the world.  I've been sworn to secrecy.  

So it's pertinent.  But is it too presumptuous?  Probably.  But I hope I'm not making up the wisdom that I'm eschewing.  I hope I'm trying to give a sense of this Jesus' stuff.  I hope I'm introducing you, not berating you with wisdom.  After all wisdom has a still, kind, sweet voice.  Yes, sometimes she stands on the street corners and yells when no one can hear her.  But the voice of wisdom is a soft yell.  She shouts with a bedroom voice.  

Now let me just tell you that I think verse 26 needs a little less chauvinism and maybe mix in a little less crazy but hey I've never been married.  Plus, I wish he hadn't compared raising children to the raising of cattle.  Then again, I'm not a parent.  Maybe raising a kid is like raising a kid...get it?  Young goats are called kids, right?  Is that right?  I'm going to Google it.  Yep.  I was right.  Still a dumb joke, though, I know.  Anyways, I always give parents the same advice about how to raise a child.  One, brand them on their lower back not their thigh.  Two, don't force them to potty train.  I think they should beg to learn the ways of the toilet about the time they're ready for fourth grade.

So since I obviously have no idea what to say to parents about raising a child lets see what Jesus II has to say.  One, teach them so that they will profit you.  Two, keep the goal in mind.  

I hope I'm not stepping on any toes but your children will one day be good for you.  I'm not talking about that moment when they pop out and your heart feels good.  I'm not talking about them letting you move in when you're a hundred.  While this was part of the message then; it's more now.  Children are part of you becoming a better adult.  They refine your thinking.  They teach you grace and patience.  They make you smarter and if you're wise you can learn from their wisdom later in life.  They are a bread basket of lessons.  Take and eat.  The lessons...don't eat the babies.  Sit down and make a list of the things you've learned about people from watching your kid.  How do you want to be more like a child?  Are you learning anything through them?  Start paying more attention, you should be learning a great deal.  They are your teachers as you are theirs.

And parent with the end in mind.  I know we get this message when starting to look for a job, or train for a marathon, or bake cookies.  However, do we need this advice when we talk about child raising?  I'm not saying pressure them to become a Quarterback.  I'm saying that there are traits that you think they'll need.  There are ways that you wish you were raised differently.  Don't be flippant about the things that will make your baby into an adult the world can be proud of and God can really use.  Don't put items on the list like, "I want my baby to forgive."  That's to simple and amorphous.  How will you get them to forgive?  "I want my baby to climb every mountain," look! this isn't a Miley Cyrus song(get it?) this is your child's life.  How about this one.  "I want my child to play an instrument because that kind of determination and hard work will serve her in every endeavor and that talent is something almost every adult wishes they procured growing up."  That's parenting with the end in mind.  

"I want my kid to excel in all subjects.  If he can't, then I want him to try thoroughly and never give up because you don't have to excel in school to excel in life but you can't give up."  That's parenting with the end in mind.  Some parents want their kid to be spiritual but don't have the sense to purse spirituality.  Some parents want their kid to read but they don't read enough to them.  That's not parenting with the end in mind.

In the comments feel free to leave bad advice for parents, as a joke.  Make sure it's funny.  In private make a list of the traits you want your kid to have and some ways you can help them achieve them.  If you don't trust yourself (in conjunction with your spouse), have a trusted friend look over your list and make sure you're not putting too much pressure on your kids.  Make sure that you're not trying to live your life again through them.  We've seen that on enough t.v. dramas.