That was a long sentence. You understand? Like Peanuts characters hearing adults talk as, "Wah Wah Wah." In the real world sometimes we feel as if the phrase, "I don't wanna argue," really means, "I give up."
I've felt this way when I've heard this white flag from my argument-sworn-enemies. I've felt like this when I was arguing something and thought, who cares, but relentlessly held on to the argument.
Here are some examples. My mother and I were arguing today about a box that I had taken out of my father's van and put into her house. My contention was that it was 'my van' while I worked for him and he should clean it up. Moreover, he likes to keep this box of both trash and sundries that I feel he should go through regularly or irregularly. I put the box inside the home so that he'd be forced to deal with it. I'm using the box to manipulate him to do something I think he ought to. *I admit this is stupid.
My mother's contention is that it's always his van so he should get to leave the box in there and if not then it shouldn't get put into the living room because I might as well be manipulating her to manipulate him to clean it. It isn't fair to her and it isn't my place to manipulate anyone.
I hope I'm giving her side a polite and genuine retelling. I'm not hoping to get people to rule in either of our favors. I am lamenting the time and energy I took to try and convince her that I was right. We even continued the argument after my father had sorted the box into trash and usable stuff which took five minutes. My pride, my black-as-night desire to be correct, wouldn't allow me to help clean out the box. Sin that pervades my life wants me to be right. It wants me to throw up barriers between my mother and me, thorns on our good soil choking our relationship of its life and peace. I couldn't say that this doesn't matter because my heart told me that saying that would be admitting she won the argument.
*"Mom, sorry to air our dirty laundry. You were right. I was wrong. I shouldn't have tried to manipulate Dad or recruit you to help."
*"God, teach me that this humility I seek actually does mean becoming the LEAST of these. Teach me when to fight tooth and nail for the kingdom, but let it go when all I'm protecting is my own pride.
Another example. My brother Dan sent me an article about who would win in a fight: Star Wars vs. Star Trek. I have spent so much time thinking about energy-based galactic economies I don't even want to make it public. It actually has been what I think about while I'm drifting off to bed a couple of nights this last week. It's tragic. I haven't even talked to my brother about it. My strange breed of neurosis wants to have a fully fledged answer before nonchalantly tossing the article's argument into the trash bin of scientific lore. I hate that I'm losing the debate with the article writer. It's terrible. After trying to get some information on how food synthesizers and holo-decks work on Star Trek I realized... this is fiction. It doesn't matter.
My pride got in the way again. Not even a pride in myself but simply pride over which fictitious Universe I liked more. Since I liked it more it had to be the one more capable of destruction. I know I sound like a crazy person, the truth should be that I like one more or less if it was so. Trying to decide who would win a fight, was pathetically outside the mission God has for me in the world. Figuring it out doesn't matter. The answer isn't THE answer.
*Daniel Fryar, Star Trek would win. Unless you disagree.
*God, I don't like golf, video games, or sports. I thought this made me relatively diversion-free. I was oh so wrong. Fill me up with things that matter.
Last Summer some men who help me to be better from time to time offered me a challenge. The challenge was to NOT argue when I disagreed with someone. This didn't help me much because it was a challenge for biting my tongue. The true challenge would be to not care about that which God doesn't care about and to let opinions stand up without scrutiny. I should have seen the other person's feelings rather than a chance to be right, to show God's love rather than my debate and logic skills.
I know I don't have a lot of readers. To those of you who do read, I'm trying again to create 50 posts this year. Last year I hoped for one a week and succeeded at once a month, sort of. I am leaving Ecclesiasticus behind but am hoping to stay on the theme of Wisdom. I think it would be smart of me to never lose an argument, but it would be wise to argue much less.
